I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
is that a dick in a sweater?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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