I can text with my tongue
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
