I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I look better un-naked...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
