no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
