I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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