yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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