the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
