i wish starbucks made bloody marys
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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