I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
