I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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