I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
