planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We are two peas in an std pod
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
