RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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