In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize