Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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