Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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