Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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