the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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