That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
