Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize