fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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