Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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