I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
