the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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