He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
