Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
