is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
