So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
