Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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