My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
