How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
