Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
