so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize