how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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