My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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