Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
