stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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