I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
