So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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