Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
