I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
