so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
