I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
