Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
