bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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