fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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