Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
