i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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