Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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