he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I did not marry a roomba.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
