i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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