Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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