Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sorry about my life...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
