do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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