Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
